Rule #23

Being a "convenience" is way over rated.

Rule #32

Boyfriends are always negotiable.

Rule #14

There is always another guy... and that guy is always a tool.

"Just Friends"

“Um, so I don’t wanna come off as cold hearted but…” Brit said as I cranked the wheel to pull into her apartment complex.

Ugh, not this freakin talk again, I grunted to myself, as I retracted my hand from hers. “Go on, I’m listening.” I said.

As I pulled into a visitors parking stall the floodgates opened up and her words began spilling out. I was still staring forward, eyes fixed on the speedometer wondering, "What the HE!#, I just met this girl?!"

“I have been thinking,” she says, “I don’t know what you want out of this situation.”

“What situation?” I peered over my right shoulder at her with an eyebrow raised in a grimace.

She grabs my hand back from me and says, “Us, our situation, you know… me and you.”

There is a brief pause where I find my mind racing through the two times we had hung out prior to tonight. The first night we chilled, she came over to my apartment and we talked about music. The second time we were alone together, she came over in her pajamas and we watched a movie. I did offer to buy her a slurpee from the local 7-11 across the street. She said, "No thanks."

“Um, what about us?” I was trying to stall this conversation. I was still straining my memories, trying to identify what action of mine had led us to this premature moment. When I asked her if she wanted a slurpee, did she hear do you want to get married and have kids with me? Do slurpees have a deeper meaning than I am aware? What music did we listen to that night? I could have sworn it was relationship-free tunes.

“Dude,” she replied with puppy dog eyes, “I don’t know what expectations you have for us, I was just thinking friends.”

Just friends eh? Of course we are just friends, I thought. But why is she still massaging my hand? “Wow, I guess I haven’t planned that far ahead…”

“I guess,” she interrupts, “I should probably tell you that my boyfriend, well kinda boyfriend, is coming up this weekend to visit and stay at my place.”

Boyfriend… Ba$*@%! I guess she won’t be coming over to my apartment to not have a slurpee with me this weekend.

“Um, yeah dude, that’s fine, whatever, it’s late and I need to get going.” I grumbled.

She hops out of the car, sweet back pockets, dang-it man, she just gave me the freakin “just friends” talk.

Brit turns around, “Are you mad?”